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Joke of the Day
"You haven't Instagramed what you had for dinner yet? Please hurry up, the suspense is killing me."
Next Joke
"After the machine uprising, robots in the club will dance ""The Human"" by compulsively overeating and playing with their phones on the toilet"
"My gal pal: ""Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"" Me: ""Poverty."""
"Whats the best thing about being a meth addict? Only two more sleeps until christmas."
"'No Panties Tuesday' is a thing, right? Or AKA, I really need to do some laundry."
"Ever find buried treasure in your grandpas backyard containing passports, Nazi uniforms, and a photo with Papa with the Fuhrer inside? Yeah."
"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face before."
"Waiter there is a fly in my wine ! Well you did ask for something with a little body in it!"
"What did the spice merchant say when someone knocked on his door? Cumin!"
"What did the pirate say to the wench before sex? Prepare to be boarded."