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Joke of the Day

"What noise does a cat make when it drives past really fast? Meeeeeeeoooooowwwww"

"The late great artist of the 20th century Yelvis. YOU AIN NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG! CRYING ALL THE TIME."

"On autopsy, instead of pumping my stomach to determine what I've eaten in the past 24 hours, a coroner need only look down my cleavage."

"When you have to poop so bad it comes out just as you reach the toilet... That's the shit I don't like."

"What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer after there's no more Job's"

"Pick a number, now add 7, divide by 4, write it down. Now get an apple, name it, show it a picture of your cat. Now go to bed,you're drunk."

"I'm so glad they released a patch for my car The windshield was starting to get buggy."

"Spider just landed on my shoulder. I didn't want to kill it so I just fainted instead."

"Family vacation is when you listen to your kids cry someplace expensive."

"If you slowly put your fingers in someone's mouth, they will quit telling you about their day at work."