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Joke of the Day

"After the machine uprising, robots in the club will dance ""The Human"" by compulsively overeating and playing with their phones on the toilet"

"My Girlfriend is anorexic. It's not going so well... I am seeing less and less of her everyday."

"December 26th is the sad day where I have to take the Christmas tree behind the garage and shoot it"

"What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head? Dead."

"What do you call thrusting a hairy rod in and out of your mouth really fast then afterwards spitting out a white liquid? Brushing your teeth"

"Q: How did Bill Cosby find his daughter in the woods? A: Pretty good"

"If you are making love to music, use live album cos you get a round of applause every 3 minutes."

"Sometimes love is like having one too many drinks....you feel so good that you don't notice you're making a fool of yourself."

"I used to do the ""hokey pokey""... But I turned myself around."

"The Joker is in a room with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, and has a gun with one bullet, who does he shoot? Neither. Some men just want to watch the world burn."