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Joke of the Day
"If I were Amish, I'd have to convert to Pmish cause I'm not a morning person."
Next Joke
"Just found out that umbrellas open up. I always wondered why my rain stick never kept me dry. We never stop learning do we."
"I was in the middle of a selfie and my mother walked in, now all she can say is ""don't worry son everyone's doing that."""
"""I bought some dodgy steroids last week and I grew another penis"" ""Anabolic?"" ""No, just the penis"""
"How can my wife's hands not open a jar of pickles in the day, but become superhuman vice-grips at night when I want some covers?"
"What is the cat's favourite TV show ? The evening mews !"
"i'm so bad at rock-paper-scissors, last time i accidently joined a street gang."
"At a bathroom line. ''Can I go before you? I really need to number two'' ''No, I was here before you and I need to go as well''. ''I swear I need to go more than you''. ''You're so full of shit''."
"Why did Papa smurf go to the aviary? Because he loves blue tits."
"How did the farmer move his cows? In a mooving van!"