91895

Joke of the Day

"""I bought some dodgy steroids last week and I grew another penis"" ""Anabolic?"" ""No, just the penis"""

"Seriously considering telling the CDC I have Ebola, so they'll clean my house."

"You look so perfect standing there, In my American Apparel underwear, But I know now you probably opened the wrong Christmas present grandma"

"Why do people order espresso shots at Starbucks? Because it's black. Sorry."

"What did Naruto say at his mentor'a funeral? Bereave it."

"HOLD YOUR HORSES. TELL YOUR HORSES YOU LOVE THEM. DONT BE TOO STRICT WITH YOUR HORSES OR THEY'LL DATE OLDER HORSES GET TATTOOS & HAVE PONIES"

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and the other to hold the penis. LADDER. I MEANT LADDER."

"Somebody told me to stop singing ""Wonderwall."" I said maybe"

"What kind of tree do chickens come from? None of them you stupid fuck. Chickens come from other chickens, trees from other trees, and the 'try' part of 'poultry' isn't even spelled the same."

"what's the difference between light and hard you can sleep with the light on"