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Joke of the Day

"""I bought some dodgy steroids last week and I grew another penis"" ""Anabolic?"" ""No, just the penis"""

"I heard about a woman who doesn't use her feet... I really want to meter."

"It is too hot in India now There's a cap for that."

"Was talking to a friend about taking many baths a day. ""There's no harm in taking baths repeatedly unless you are soap."""

"""Susan, will you marry me?"" ""Oh yes Johnny, yes! Yes!"" Ten grand later and it's still the best prank I ever pulled on my twin brother."

"(meeting for naming cereal) ""List the ingredients; maybe we'll get inspired."" ""Honey, bunches of oats"" ""I think we're done here."""

"Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser? Because he clearly owed the win to Miller."

"My wife has been missing for a week now. Police have told me to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back."

"What was Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite snack? Chopped dates."

"I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women. There were tons of girls there, just not very many."