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Joke of the Day

"i'm so bad at rock-paper-scissors, last time i accidently joined a street gang."

"What do you call two gay rednecks? Super Smash Brothers"

"It's about damn time we start talking about spontaneous combustion. It doesn't happen in a vaccuum."

"Q: Why do owners of muffler shops sleep so good at night? A: They're exhausted."

"The thin,healthy, smart people are really missing out on some horrible food at Burger King."

"I got in an argument with Kobe Bryant. I now have Kobe Beef."

"Whats a plants favorite drink? Root Beer"

"Why did the phone get away with its crime? Because it had good connections!"

"A bee is willing to end it's own life just to cause you a tiny amount of pain. I can relate to that level of pettiness."

"If you were a Canadian and I were a Canadian and we bumped into each other, who would apologize first? I'm not a Canadian so get out of my fucking way! I'm Walking Here!"