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Joke of the Day

"How can my wife's hands not open a jar of pickles in the day, but become superhuman vice-grips at night when I want some covers?"

"Why is an old car like a baby playing? Because it goes with a rattle."

"How many cops does it take the screw in a lightbulb? The same number it takes to screw public confidence in law enforcement"

"What do you call a Unicorn with his horn cut off? a Eunuch-horn! :D"

"Didja hear that Israel's Chief Rabbi has told Israeli LGBT's that they will no longer be allowed to speak Hebrew ... wait for it ... Yeah - they're gonna have to speak Shebru instead ..."

"What has 300 legs and 16 boobs? The breast cancer awareness 10K run"

"There's never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself "" thank god the cops are here"""

"Top Gear was twelve years old... That's one of the oldest things that the BBC staff have fucked."

"Why couldn't the pregnent women watch all of the Harry Potter movies? Because they lactate."

"Why does coffee take so long to make in a purcolator? Because it's not called a purconow."