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Joke of the Day

"I currently own a system which is exactly 14 times better than Windows 7. I call it: Windows 98."

"Why does Santa have no children? Because he only comes once a year. Bonus! Why did Santa's wife divorce him? She wasn't the only one receiving his ""package""."

"Why do cannibals make suitcases out of peoples heads? Because they're headcases !"

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence... As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well, that's a little condescending."

"Say what you want about deaf people"

"What's Medusa's favorite type of cheese? *Gorgon*zola"

"What do you get when you shoot a Mexican golfer? A hole in Juan"

"The two minutes silence in Tesco was so well-observed you could hear a pin drop. Then my poppy fell off too."

"Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me."

"A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom he needs Viagra. The mom asks, ""Why on earth do you need that?"" The little boy replies, ""isn't that what you give dad when HIS shit won't get hard?!"""