165763

Joke of the Day

"So an iPhone 7 gets arrested... He puts on his earpods and smugly declares ""sorry, you can't charge me while I'm using my headphones""."

"A guy was so bored he broke a watch with his bare hands. Then he said ""i've got too much time on my hands"""

"I just bought a piano off the TV. It came from the Chopin Channel."

"How Do You Make Spider-Man Cry? Cook him some Uncle Ben's"

"My wife wanted me to whisper dirty things in her ear... So I leaned forward and said: ""dishes, bathroom and laundry."""

"Why did the priest smoke weed in the cemetery? He wanted to keep his spirits high."

"Had a little dog named Mustard, he didn't relish me so he ran away. I couldn't catch up."

"What do you call the smallest Superman in the world?.. Quark Kent."

"Tweeting angrily about issues does nothing. If you really want to make a difference, you have to get out there and sign an online petition."

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? They hate to see men have a good time."