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Joke of the Day
"When you are dying... Make sure your final words fit on a tombst"
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"I'm not the girl your mom warned you about, her imagination was never this good."
"What do you call blueberries, raspberries and strawberries inside of a hidden chest? Berried Treasure."
"My coat is so covered with dog fur that someone's probably going to throw red paint on me at some point today."
"Oh no, a subtweet. You got me."
"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only one retarded thing has come out of her vagina."
"I put my pants on like everyone else... As the cop taps on the glass and shines his high beam in my face."
"How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb? One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs"
"Wanna meet Santa's little helper?"
"The first thing out of my mouth when I was very abruptly and rudely woken up by my neighbor blaring ""Trapped in the Closet""... ""Ugh, that's the second worse way to be woken up by R-Kelly!"""