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Joke of the Day

"Why did Al Gore have to schedule a dentist appointment? Because of an inconvenient tooth."

"Be the change you want to find beneath the sofa cushions."

"Relationship status: My wife calls me her chauffeur because I drive her nuts..."

"It's hard to believe my teenage son hasn't got a job yet. I was sure his special skill of keeping it real' would impress any potential employers."

"If body builders religiously try to gain weight.. Does that mean they go to the gym for mass?"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered six offender."

"Never bring a dildo to a knife fight."

"Why don't single women fart? Because they only get assholes once they're married."

"#ItsTheEndOfTheWorldAnd I'm going to run with scissors and swim immediately after eating!!!"

"A speech should be like a woman's skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep it interesting!"