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Joke of the Day

"Be the change you want to find beneath the sofa cushions."

"What is Stewie Griffin's least favorite Fallout weapon? The Fat Man."

"Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom? Captain: Well it could have been worse. Manager: How? Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!"

"What did the spice merchant say when someone knocked on his door? Cumin!"

"What was the name of the Polish limo driver? Piccop Andropoff."

"This Mother's Day, my dad got a new car for my mom. He said it was the best trade he's ever made"

"What's your number? A Jewish girl and a man meet in a bar. They hit it off and the man asks for the girls number. The girl lifts up her sleeve."

"If you don't have a dog whistle, you can use two teenage girls who have not seen each other in forever."

"I was dating this girl until I found out she stuffed her bra with tissue paper. Then I was hooked because serious allergy issues."

"Apple needs to build a product for older gentlemen who have become fathers. iPop"