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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-dwelling scum sucker. The other is a fish."

"Reward: Lost Dog What kind of a reward is a lost dog?"

"Just had to gently break it to all these girls in Starbucks that they are not Zooey Deschanel."

"I real reason I'm single I have a tiny penis."

"I want to donate a large amount of money to a rape clinic and I won't take no for an answer."

"I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night."

"I went to a zoo with only one animal in it. It was a shih tzu."

"Statistics show that 1 in 20 of us live next door to a paedo... ...not me though, I live next door to two stunning 8 year olds."

"What is the difference between Usian Bolt and Hitler ? Usian Bolt can finish a race."

"22 year old me after a night of drinking: ""I hope I didn't do anything stupid."" 29 year old me: ""I hope I didn't agree to go on a hike."""