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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the french man who got raped by a group of mimes? They did unspeakable things to him."

"[at the aquarium] Son [pointing at a large tank]: daddy what's that Me: tank Son: no what lives in the tank Me: water"

"Why are the buses in London red? You'd be too if you came every 10 minutes."

"Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to ""cheek his paperwork""."

"Sometimes relationships last longer when Facebook doesn't know about them."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Only Juan."

"What's a four letter word for ""a butt load of fun""? Anal"

""" So the boat was about to sink until I attached a sail to my boner and made it safely to shore"" Me if I was on the Titanic."

"A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.... Soon after a young boy walks in. The priest says ""lets fuck him!"" The rabbi says ""outta what!?"""

"[phone w/ son while in bank thats being robbed] in case this goes bad, go to google on the iPad and delete ""can owls fly"" before mom sees it"