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Joke of the Day

"A small bird flew right onto the side of my butt while I was running today I was wrong, there are chicks out there that find me to be their type."

"""Oh. My. God."" - the first duck to eat bread."

"""Whats your biggest weakness?"" ""I'm bad at taking compliments"" ""Actually that's quite endearing"" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*"

"What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending? I can't find the twine."

"If I had a nickel for every time Robert Duvall squinted while wearing a cowboy hat... ...I'd have the same career as Robert Duvall."

"Apparantly there is a term for Baywatch actors in their midlife crisis. It's called the Hoff-time show."

"What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg."

"So Cheech Marin plays golf now, which is appropriate Because what's more Mexican than sweating balls on a freshly-mowed lawn with a bag full of weapons?"

"""I have a bloody nose"" - a British person emphasizing the fact that he has a nose."