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Joke of the Day

"Favorite question to ask a prospective boyfriend for my sister: Have you ever seen a dead body? *casually lifts shirt to expose .357*"

"""The hits just keep on coming."" - A radio Dj/abusive parent."

"There was a sixth Spice Girl named Pumpkin Spice but she only sang about Uggs and Instagram."

"What do you call... What do you call a deer with no eyes? -No idea What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? -Still no idea"

"I tried to make my racing snail faster by taking off its shell But that just made it more sluggish"

"What's the difference between firewood and a jew? The firewood ain't been turned into ash yet."

"Sunscreen isn't very effective... It didn't protect Steve Irwin from harmful Rays"

"A website that automatically plays music or needs to ""load"" is as outdated & terrible as slavery."

"I like my coffee black... So it steals my fatigue."

"I stare at the cats. ""And in space, if you knock something slowly off the table, it just gently floats away."" They look at me in horror."