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Joke of the Day

"I fart, why..because it's the only gas I can afford."

"The word ""beard"" comes from an old Latin phrase meaning ""sit on my face"""

"I got fired from the health spa. A psychic came in and asked for a back rub. I gave him one, but then I got in trouble for massage-a-mystic behavior."

"Parliament should learn from Twitter, thousands of people shout here doing nothing productive, yet it never gets adjourned."

"Three nuns are sitting in the park... ...when a man comes up and flashes them. The first nun has a second stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third couldn't quite reach it."

"They say it's the journey that matters and not the destination, which is good because I've no clue where I'm going."

"When is 99 greater than 100? When entered on a microwave."

"I visited you every day in hospital when you were in a coma. They gave me free wifi & coffee, It was the best 2 months of our married life"

"Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two"

"Chinese salesman I had a long talk with a Chinese man selling shoes the other day. It was a pleasant converse-asian."