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Joke of the Day
"BlackJack Jack be nimble Jack be quick Cuz Jack just stole that candlestick"
Next Joke
"(accidentally invented when heard words out of context) What kind of food did Hitler eat? Notseafood"
"This chick at Walgreens is totally hitting on me. What's your name? What's your address? Do you have any questions for the pharmacist?"
"Why are the bears such a bad football team? Because when they were little, they were cubs. I'm so sorry"
"Be myself? BE MYSELF?!?! You don't care if I ever get laid again, do you?"
"I'm currently between relationships. The couple on my right are kissing and I think the couple on my left are about to start doing it."
"I respected people a lot more before Spotify told me what they were listening to."
"A new hipster coffee shop in my hood doesn't have wifi b/c it wants to encourage talking...presumably about the failure of this coffee shop."
"My brother and I both like our women like our coffee... He likes them hot and black. I like them cold and bitter."
"So I used to sleep on my carpet... I'd have to say, it was a pretty flooring experience."