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Joke of the Day

"I respected people a lot more before Spotify told me what they were listening to."

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"I have a rape joke. Never mind, it's a bit forced."
"How can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb? You can hear their brooms tick!"
"Why doesn't Superman need a boss? (OC) He already has supervision."
"What do calenders eat? Nothing. Calenders are inanimate objects that are used to keep track of the date and important events."
"A national monument to those brave online heroes who were ""First!"" in comments."
"What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's head? The steering wheel."
"In bed with my Japanese girlfriend when I happened to remark that her twat was getting a bit saggy .......... She lost it and said "" Fack you maddafacka, why you always clittysizing me""!!!"
"Air & Sex Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."
"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection The judge says, ""First offender?"" The woman replies, ""No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."""