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Joke of the Day

"Why are the bears such a bad football team? Because when they were little, they were cubs. I'm so sorry"

"I realised I've got a road rage problem when my five-year-old daughter shouted... ...""Pick a fucking lane,you dickhead!"" While sitting in my grocery trolley."

"Turtles think tortoises are pretentious as hell."

"How come ambassadors never get sick? They have diplomatic immunity."

"Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free."

"Have you heard about Bruce Willis' new movie in which he has to infiltrate a Nunnery? ""Bad Habits Die Hard."""

"As a child whenever I asked my parents to close the closet at night they always said. ""Why? Anything that could kill you can open that door"""

"I like my steak just how i like ISIS... DEAD"

"Did you guys hear that Ireland has the fastest growing economy in the world? Yeah, their capital is always Dublin"

"Since the world is doing reposts. ""Knock knock"" you: ""Who's there?"" me: ""hoo"" you: ""Who's hoo?"" me: ""What're you, an owl?"""