164836

Joke of the Day

"""Twitter got hacked by some idiot in the projects. Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, hide ya husband too, 'cause they hackin' everybody out here."""

"While getting thrown in jail, my grandma's pacemaker failed. I guess you could say it was a cardiac arrest for battery."

"My girlfriend buys candles the same way I buy weed. She looks at the color, opens it and smells it, buys it, then lights it on fire to relax"

"Wanna hear a joke about ebola? Nevermind, you won't get it."

"in college, i was the third-wheel so many times they called me The Tricycle"

"What's the difference between an extroverted mathematician and an introverted mathematician? The extroverted mathematician looks at YOUR shoes when he's speaking to you."

"I don't believe that twitter is the place for arguments. We all have family for that.."

"Limerick I made about reddit. Spammer would always post to reddit Upvotes he would always get it Always posting for more He was a Karma whore In the end OP was a faggit"

"This stupid farmers market doesn't have any locally grown pizza."

"My friend Richard is protesting against the unjust treatment of Gorillas Dick's out for Harambe."