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Joke of the Day

"Me: Check out that car. It has 400 horses. 5-year-old: Where does all the poop go?"

"I always want to be friends with the people that need shopping carts at the liquor store. I bet those people are fun."

"""Hey can I do it?"" Anaesthetist: sure, knock yourself out"

"The ones you keep closest to your heart hurt you the most. Like the underwire in my bra that tried to stab me."

"The Unemployed Engineer"

"What is a pirate's favorite element in the periodic table? Gold. Why the fuck would a pirate need Argon?"

"Vacationing in Switzerland ""So did you enjoy the beautiful scenery?"" ""I couldn't really see much because of the mountains."""

"I'm going to a trial in Great Sept of Baelor today, AMA. Edit: Wow, this blew up!"

"Here is a complete list on how to build a single stair. Step 1"

"Nobody's going to see a sticker on a telephone pole and then become a fan of your band."