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Joke of the Day

"While getting thrown in jail, my grandma's pacemaker failed. I guess you could say it was a cardiac arrest for battery."

"Wait, you didn't let me finish. What I was trying to say is Hitler was largely misunderstood by people who don't speak German."

"What's black and eats pussy? Cervical cancer..."

"My boss knocked on my office door and asked if I had a sec... I told her I have lots of secs. Now I'm looking for a job."

"If they somehow magically ever discover another part of the reproductive system, they should name it after Prince"

"I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week Phoned her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs."

"I went as a congressional bill for Halloween.... I stayed in the House and didn't do anything."

"Eye no howe too spiel"

"My subscription brings all the newspapers to the yard."

"Ask your doctor if you're healthy enough for sex. Then ask if you're attractive enough. Then ask your doctor for sex."