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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the lazy guy have sex? Because his dick was just too hard"

"[Watching 101 Dalmatians with a cute girl] Hold up, hold up. Pause it, please. Thanks. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,"

"How do you get wishes from cheese? You fed-a-genie!"

"How many Duggars does it take to screw a planet? <EOM> ;^)"

"I'm going to name my son After Me. So every time he asks to do something cool I say ""ya After Me."""

"The son to his dad * Son - Dad at last i lost my virginity- * Dad -OH! so good son, i am proud of you, come on, sit here and tell me- * Son -I don't think i could sit for a while"

"The town i grew up in was so small... we had drivers-ed and sex-ed in the same car."

"I'm convinced that my washing machine is a portal to a world where one-legged men hop around in my socks."

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder The bartender says, ""Hey, that thing is cool - where did you get it?"" The parrot replies, ""Africa."""

"What's black and never works? DECAF YOU RACIST FUCK"