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Joke of the Day

"*spends 30 minutes trying to unzip my pants to have sex for the first time* *girlfriend sighs* ""Just take off the mittens"" MY HANDS ARE COLD"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Battering Ram Barbie ...Barbie's head on the end of a battering ram"

"The brake is on the left, the gas peddle is on the right, & the liquor store is 4 miles ahead. -Me teaching my 3yr old niece how to drive"

"How do you tell the difference between a redditor and a MOBA player? Ask them what OP stands for."

"Boss: It's almost quitting time. Drinks? Me: In my top desk drawer. Help yourself. Boss:..."

"I'm not religious, but avocados are proof of a benevolent creator."

"Just found out that my sexy new girlfriend stays in shape by playing football. She's a keeper."

"English people smh... 75% of English people do not know the opposites to these words. Always Coming From Take Me Down"

"Would it have been more or less racist if Air Bud had been a black lab?"

"TIL the British used U-boats Whoops, wrong sub"