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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I switched positions to make our night more exciting last night... so she sat on the couch and I washed dishes."

"What state has the smallest soft drinks? Minisoda"

"It's hard not to bring up the fact I'm vegan whenever people talk about food or a new restaurant or that their mom just died or"

"Pop up ads are the Jehovahs witness of the internet."

"A girl walks in on her boyfriend blowing his dick with her hair dryer. ""What the hell are you doing?!"" she yells. He lovingly replies, ""Baby, you just asked me to heat up dinner for you!"""

"How do your organize a space party? You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)"

"What kind of car does a viking drive? A fjord"

"Why are vacuum cleaners made by gays the best? Because they really suck."

"So I broke up with my girlfriend because our signs didn't match... ...I'm a Sagittarius, and she's a bitch."

"Q: What happens if you sing country music backwards? A: You get your job and your wife back."