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Joke of the Day

"Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don't use words like ""East."""

"A man told his doctor he has a small problem The doctor replied: ""Is it your penis?"""

"the opposite of a charles manson is a nicole kidman"

"You ask me if I'm drunk? Well just spent 10 minutes looking for my phone using the flash light app on my phone."

"Steven Avery Did you see all the buzz on tv about the Wisconsin criminal that is working the system to manipulate the public for a second chance? Steven Avery no, Scott Walker!"

"I ran over my wife yesterday I was devastated, but she was crushed"

"What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Nacho Cheese."

"My son's method of Laundry: If it's clean it's on the floor. If it's dirty then it goes on the floor over there."

"Only 90's kids will remember this! *plays outside*"

"So, a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch... The bartender asks, ""What the hell is that?"" The pirate responds, ""Arrrrr, it drives me nuts."""