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Joke of the Day

"I vacuumed up a huge spiderweb & then heard a thump in the workout room. The spiders are lifting weights before they attack me aren't they?"

Next Joke
 
"I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can't have any more food and I'm never ready for that kind of commitment."
"gotta love cousins... what do you call a hispanic man who's car got jacked? Carlos. what do you call the italian man who stole it? Carmine."
"My favorite Star Trek episode is that one where Captain Kirk saves the Klingons hundreds of dollars on hotel reservations."
"Someone should make a joke about music... I've never seen it done on a major scale."
"God damn it Adolf... I told you to pass me the juice not gas the jews!"
"I had a lovely threesome with my girl friend and her twin He is a lovely chap"
"My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction."
"Why aren't the people in old timey photos ever smiling? Because they were in constant danger of getting eaten by dinosaurs. READ A BOOK."
"What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito? Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler."