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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my slaves: Coffee. Wait..."

"What did the chinese guy tell the police when he was caught? You got the Wong guy."

"Just bought Rosetta Stone for Starbucks."

"The heaviest things in the world: 4) iron 3) lead 2) tungsten 1) a toddler who doesn't want to be picked up"

"I'm so fresh... ...I get put in the produce section."

"Shia LaBeouf is what happens when you name your child from a random rack of Scrabble tiles."

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blow job from a guy. Feels good till you look down and realize you're gay (Credit to Adam Corolla)"

"My girlfriend said she needs time and distance does that mean she is calculating velocity?"

"What are the specs on your computer? Oh those? They're just my reading glasses."

"Your Bio says you like music. That's amazing. Seems like everybody else around here hates music. Kindred spirits, you and I."