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Joke of the Day
"My neighbors are having a terrible fight in the front yard. I mean hanging Christmas lights. Same."
Next Joke
"A magician was walking down the street ...and turned into a grocery store."
"[Jedi Training] TRAINER: Any questions? STUDENT: Can the Force be with me? TRAINER: I don't know...CAN it? STUDENT: Oh right...May the Force"
"I've been reading a book on euthanasia... It's so good I can't put it down."
"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to do it before it gets cool, and one to talk about how much better the old one used to be."
"""Turtle Power"" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently."
"I drive a 5 wheeler... But ones in the trunk"
"Q: What do you get Devin Hester for Christmas?? A: Nothing - he'll just return it!"
"What did the Priest say to the Church of Vegetables? Lettuce pray."
"What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile"