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Joke of the Day

"I've been reading a book on euthanasia... It's so good I can't put it down."

"I have a condition preventing my going on a successful diet. There's a medical term for it, but in plain language, it's hunger."

"I just got diagnosed with the inability to feel emotions Now I'm sad"

"Why did the farmer cross the road? He was fucking the chicken."

"How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian? Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented"

"I swear, the next person who pisses me off will find out very quickly that my threats are empty."

"United States once again votes for a minority President! Donald J Trump is believed to be the first orange President to be elected in the history of the United States."

"If at first you don't succeed.. .. skydiving probably isn't for you anyway."

"That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off..."

"Foal me once, I have a baby horse. Foal me twice, no one needs this many baby horses. Foal me thrice, please stop. I have no room for them."