171223

Joke of the Day

"I can't stand holocaust jokes, they hit too close to home. My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off one of the watchtowers"

Next Joke
 
"What will santa bring your fish this christmas? A scale letrix!"
"What's Hitler's favorite letter? Well, it's not Z."
"Knock Knock Who's there? Peanut butter jelly Peanut butter jelly who? Peanut butter jelly you!"
"Thank you, social media, for sometimes filling the emptiness you've created in our lives."
"Dear #Athiests Evolution could never design and create a machine that consumes scraps and produces bacon"
"Freddie Mercury: ""Hey Brian, what rhymes with scaramouche?"" Brian May: um... Fandango? Freddie: ""Perfect!"" *snorts another line of coke*"
"[Date] Karen: ""You okay?"" Ian: ""I'm undressing you in my mind"" K: ""Okay... you look confused!"" I: ""I've never seen a bra strap like this"""
"*Walking with wife listening to Dust In The Wind* Me: This is our song. *A dude walks by listening to it* Me: That's OUR song! GIVE IT BACK!"
"I can't believe I didn't get an Oscar nomination for my performance in, ""No, I never got your text!"""