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Joke of the Day

"Things I need now because of Twitter: 1. A cat 2. A beard 3. Printer for Avis 4. Duct tape 5. Rope 6. Gas card"

"Who writes hit musicals on the Internet? Andrew Lloyd Webber."

"A mexican, African American and Muslim walk into a bar.... They see that Donald Trump and a group of his supporters are there, so they get they quickly get the fuck out there."

"What do you do when you see a bloody Mexican in your garbage can? Quit laughing, and reload."

"What is a martian's favourite chocolate? A mars bar"

"What do you call a snarky criminal walking down stairs? A condescending con descending."

"What's the difference between a Priest and a Wristwatch? A priest's hands stop at 10."

"If a threesome with two guys and a girl is called a ""manwich"", what do you call a threesome with two girls and a guy? Vaggie burger."

"I know a joke about frequencies But I'll not share it, because the punch line is so bad it hertz."

"what happens when a frogs car breaks down? it gets toad"