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Joke of the Day

"A mexican, African American and Muslim walk into a bar.... They see that Donald Trump and a group of his supporters are there, so they get they quickly get the fuck out there."

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"Donald Trump chose Mikey Pence as his vice-president... Did anyone else realize that Mickey and Donald will run America from now on? Walt Disney also could not have imagined this..."
"If the angel Gabriel came from heaven how was he so sure that Mary was pregnant?"
"*shipwrecked diary* Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab Day 2: I have married the crab. Day 3: I have eaten my wife."
"What did the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do? Lay awake in bed wondering if there really is a dog."
"What's so fragile that even mentioning it breaks it? The male ego."
"A man went to the vet for advice to curb his racist dog that kept barking at his Asian neighbour. ""Muzzle him"" the vet advised. The man paused, and exclaimed, ""could be, he does have a big beard"""
"Why did the banker bee go to prison? Embuzzlement! You're damn right"
"I'm not addicted to cocain I just love how it smells"
"[arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE"