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Joke of the Day

"Jealously is something you're good at when you suck at everything else."

"What's the difference between writing your will and owning an ant farm? One's a legacy, the other a sea of legs."

"Last time I got some ass My finger went through the toilet paper"

"What's more covered in sweat than a marathon runner at the end of a race? Josh Duggar at a family reunion."

"Men's underwear should be called ""manhole covers"""

"""Look at me! I'm a ninja!"" - 4yo not getting the whole ninja concept yet."

"I missed a call from my mom, so I assume the helicopter that just flew over my house is part of the search crew she called."

"I just found out they have Canadian Jeopardy It's almost the same, only your answers must be in the form of an apology."

"Tourette's convention rally What do we want?! A CURE FOR TOURETTE!! When do we want it?! CUNT! SHIT! FUCK!"

"I've had a really bad day. First, my wife got ran over by a bus. Then, I lost my job as a bus driver."