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Joke of the Day

"I would like to work as a janitor in Microsoft. I could see myself excel in that job."

"My wife used to have sex with fruit when she was stressed. When I found out, she went fucking bananas."

"I had a bad audition... ...but I acted like I didn't care."

"A Jewish kid asks his dad for 50 bucks. His dad says, ""40 dollars? What do you want 30 dollars for?"""

"Kraft have just opened up a new factory in Jerusalem... They've called it 'Cheeses of Nazareth'."

"Did you hear the one about the statistician who drowned while wading across a river whose average depth was three feet?"

"Remember, he who laughs last is the idiot who took forever to get it."

"There are two kinds of people in the world, those who masturbate... And fucking liars."

"My superpower is being able to talk to dead people... they can't talk back, though."

"If your son becomes a priest... ...do you call him 'Father'?"