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Joke of the Day

"Jesus said to John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life!"" But John came fifth and got a toaster."

"Saudi Arabia 'chosen to head key UN human rights panel' Joke is UN."

"And the Oscar goes to... Jail."

"I like to put grilled chicken in my egg and cheese stuffed breakfast burrito... Nothing warms my heart and stomach more than reuniting a mother and child."

"What's the easiest way to pay a musician? Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza"

"What do you call a vessel full of academics? A scholarship"

"Me: OMG I feel amazing! WebMD: sounds like cancer!"

"What do you call it when you give chairs to the poor? A Chair-ity!"

"What's the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns? One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks."

"Baby I am an Animal in Bed More Specifically A Koala,I can sleep 22 hrs a day. Credit:A friend"