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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a vessel full of academics? A scholarship"

"Hate the political process, not the politicians. Nah, who the f*#k am I kidding? Hate those politicians!"

"The Philadelphia eagles Punchline in title."

"How did the mathematician solve his constipation problems? The same way he solved all other problems: He worked it out with a pencil and paper."

"Whoever got my Steam account for Christmas plz realize those Japanese dress up games are for research only, I don't enjoy them. Plz understa"

"#LanceArmstrong should keep his awards. Last time I tried to ride a bike when I was #stoned I ended up in a ditch."

"What's black, blue, and hates sex? The five year old boy in my basement."

"On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky... ...how much do you like kids?"

"Why do women like to be on top during sex? Because they're over cum with joy."

"I joined a 12-step program for people addicted to 12 step programs, Anonymous Anonymous. The 1st step is admitting you don't have a problem."