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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a walnut? I've never had a walnut on my face."

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"job interview tip: show up wearig the exact same thing as ur interveiwer, whispre ""dress for the job u want, right?"" then just stare at them"
"Leonardo DiCaprio set to play a Long John Silver in his next role. Having previous experience with spending most of his years searching for gold."
"Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac"
"Before college, I didn't know what I was doing with my life, but now I'm confident I have no idea what I'm doing."
"What one food reduces a woman's sex drive by 90%? Wedding cake."
"Gonna start rapping about women's rights... Call me Feminem."
"What does an atheist yell during sex? Oh, nothing!"
"An Irishman is driving to the airport While driving, he sees a sign that says ""Airport left"". So he turns around and goes home"
"u can't pet a goldfish without taking it out of the water & even then it's not that satisfying for either party"