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Joke of the Day
"What kid blows you and gets you all wet? El Nino"
Next Joke
"A non-smoker says to a smoker ""Excuse me, would you mind smoking somewhere else?"" The smoker replied, ""Hypothetically, yes."""
"Apparently 1 in 8 of us live next door to a pedophile. I certainly don't, I live next door to a gorgeous 9 year old with a cracking ass."
"I was created in a gas station. I was an in-petro fertilization baby."
"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender."
"Me: Hurry up kid. We're gonna be late for school 6 y/o daughter: *begins eating each Lucky Charms marshmallow individually*"
"Why are ballerinas so vigilant? They are always kept on their toes."
"Did you hear about the guy who was frozen to absolute zero? He was 0K."
"ME [yelling down into a volcano]: You shut your stupid Earth mouth"
"Me: There's nothing better than a quiet evening out with friends after a hectic week. Tequila: We're gonna fight every girl in this bar!"