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Joke of the Day

"You know why some people wear socks with sandals?Cos they've never been punched in the head for it.If you see an offender,do the right thing"

"What's the difference between a chicpea and a tomato I don't pay 1200 dollars for a tomato on my face."

"Q. Why did the line dancer cross the dance floor? A. To get to the other (Electric) Slide!"

"I read a very good book about astronomy last week. It was stellar."

"My wife always cheats when we play board games Just last night, we were all playing Monopoly in the den and she was next-door fucking the neighbor."

"Why don't shrimp give anything to charity? Because they're shellfish."

"Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it's time to go back to childhood a man is already there."

"I was walking down the road... ...when the guy in front of me turned around and started throwing milk, eggs, yoghurt and butter at me. I thought, ""How dairy!""."

"almost called my teacher ""mom,"" but I caught myself after ""mo"" and added an ""n."" I had to pretend I was Jamaican for the rest of the year."

"Did you hear the news that Bill Cosby over dosed? the girl almost died!"