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Joke of the Day

"almost called my teacher ""mom,"" but I caught myself after ""mo"" and added an ""n."" I had to pretend I was Jamaican for the rest of the year."

"What no running shoes and Neo-Nazis have in common? Both make Jews run faster! (Sorry, but as an agnostic Jew myself, I hope that it's okay for me to make this joke.)"

"Me: I don't care how cute you are, I will tear you to shreds if you don't start cooperating. Wrapping paper: *rips*"

"What do hippies say when you tell them to get off your couch? Namaste"

"There's only one problem where tears are the solution... and that's forgetting to pack your contact lens cleaner."

"I hate niggers"

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? I couldn't unscrew your mom."

"A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied ""The weather didn't agree with me."""

"My one and only joke. Two olives are sitting at a bar, one falls off and the other one says ""Ahhh are you ok?"" And the one that fell is like ""Yeah, olive."""

"Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even."