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Joke of the Day

"Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it's time to go back to childhood a man is already there."

"Surprised Scarlett Johansson didn't leg sweep Travolta, throw him over her should onto his back and put her foot on his throat."

"The Device Too Big To Fail I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, ""The Titanic is syncing."""

"Anybody want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's cheesy."

"What is the slowest ship? A snail boat."

"Whenever anyone asks me where I grew up I point to a random spot in the room and say ""Over there."""

"What medications do I take? I'm not sure. The names on my neighbor's prescription bottles are ridiculously long"

"Your tweets are so boring the NSA just unfollowed you."

"Being a DJ is tough because sometimes iTunes won't open."

"How do you tell if someone is vegan or not? Don't worry, they'll fucking tell you."