111966

Joke of the Day

"I was walking down the road... ...when the guy in front of me turned around and started throwing milk, eggs, yoghurt and butter at me. I thought, ""How dairy!""."

"Can I have a broken drum for Christmas? The best thing you could have asked for. You can't beat it!"

"What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese? None, but you can get food poisoning."

"For a cat named Jingles, his tambourine accompaniment to my blistering bongo solo isn't that impressive."

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can fall asleep with a light on."

"If you've had your name called over the PA system at a grocery store, you're now famous enough to compete on Dancing with the Stars."

"I bumped into Brad Pitt the other day They say you shouldn't meet your heroes, but I think Brad handled it really well."

"Why would Ellen Pao not do her own AMA? General Pao's chicken."

"Ned: What does your Dad sell ? Ed: Salt. Ned: Well my dad is a salt seller too. Ed: Shake."

"Oxygen is proven to be a toxic gas. Anyone who inhales oxygen will normally dies within 80 years."