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Joke of the Day

"Me: Make sure Jnr. gets straight A's...[slides envelope] Teacher: Is this what I think it is? Me:[nods] You can use it to send letters & stuff"

"What's a magician's favorite Mexican dish? TosTADA!"

"Please pray for the private school kid whose dad drops him off in a 3-year-old car."

"So much mascara her eyes got stuck in the closed position. Too bad lipstick doesn't work that way."

"What's denser than a feminist? Water. . . . . Water is denser than fat"

"What was the name of the pakistani hide and seek champion ? 'amhid'"

"What's a blind person's least favorite theme park? Seaworld"

"You can't give me a mini fan at work and expect me not to spend the whole morning pretending I'm a model doing a photo shoot. It's science."

"What do Netflix and diarrhea have in common?......... Both stream instantly."

"What do you call a basement full of redditors? A wine cellar."