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Joke of the Day
"Please pray for the private school kid whose dad drops him off in a 3-year-old car."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement? What're you asking me for? I have Asperger's."
"The US can't rely on Hillary Clinton to create jobs The last meaningful job Hillary had was outsourced to Monica Lewinsky... ...and Monica blew it!"
"Arteries have a special place in my heart"
"My productivity at work has gone down 43% since corporate bought me a swivel chair."
"I definitely could NOT be a surgeon. blood freaks me out when I'm high"
"Just asked a girl if she was from Gotham. She said, ""No, why?"" I said b/c you look like The Penguin."
"What are some benefits to living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus."
"Text me once, shame on you. Text me twice, congratulations, we are now trapped in an infinite emotional prison."
"Bob just couldn't nail his roll down.. .. So he just decided to screw it."