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Joke of the Day
"When God Handed out Chins... You Thought He Said Gins, And Asked For A Double."
Next Joke
"A man walks up to his friend and asks him what he is doing... The man replies: I'm donating this chair to CHAIRity."
"I pay a monthly membership fee that lets me think about going to a gym."
"I finally decided on my Halloween costume. I'm going to go as a French pancake chef; that'll really give people the crepes."
"ME: The plane has wifi? Sweet, I'm going to Skype call that radio psychic. RADIO PSYCHIC: Go ahead caller, you're on the air ME: HOLY SHIT"
"What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket? Some asshole has my pen!"
"What do old people with Alzheimer's often say? I don't remember."
"Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account."
"It was 180 degrees went I went out for my run today... ...so I turned around and went back inside."
"Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers."