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Joke of the Day

"What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket? Some asshole has my pen!"

"Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House? So she can be pardoned."

"Apparently, Bill Cosby likes his women the way he likes his Jello Pudding... ...passed out cold."

"A: What are you doing? B: Nothing A: Didn't you do that yesterday? B: I havent finished..."

"Why do Jews not support arranged marriages? Because the Torah doesn't allow ""force kin""."

"Tell your kids where hotdogs come from first. They won't ever ask about babies."

"How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!"

"Why are airplane crashes in the ocean so visible? They're plane to sea"

"Ellen Pao has a good taste for revenge. Lawyers made her look bad, now she makes lawyers look bad. I'll be enjoying my shadow ban, thank you."

"Found $0.83 under my pillow. It appears that I still have all of my teeth so now I'm a little worried about what I was paid for."