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Joke of the Day
"what does cellphone reception and princess diana have in common? They both die in tunnels"
Next Joke
"whoreplacedmyspacebarwithaclappingemojiIneedtofinishmypaperstonightpleasehelpme"
"There were only 3 commandments until Moses' wife got involved."
"HILLARY: i'm sick and tired of these baseless accusations THE MEDIA: aha! you see?! she admits it! not only is she sick, she's also tired!"
"Yeah, bro. I train and I lift... ...It's easier to get to work that way than to bike and to stairs."
"Q: What did the dumb blonde say when told that ""Scheherezade"" was composed by Rimsky-Korsakov ? A: ""Why'd his mom choose to call him Rimsky of all names ?!!?"""
"Went to my friend's house for a night of drinking... ...crashed on the couch. I was awoken in the middle of the night by my friend blowing chunks. Chunks is the family dog"
"Whats green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea!"
"I told you to pick up a slow cooker... All I see when I look in the kitchen is a turtle wearing a chefs hat"
"I love trigger warnings... They help victims of abuse know what's ahead, and they help me spot Trump supporters."