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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the dumb blonde say when told that ""Scheherezade"" was composed by Rimsky-Korsakov ? A: ""Why'd his mom choose to call him Rimsky of all names ?!!?"""

"What disease do police give black people? Glock coma"

"After my surgery, the doctor told me I have to pee sitting down. He told me not to lift anything that weighs more than 10 pounds."

"What's the difference between a retard and a baby? The baby has a soul."

"A useless blood vessel is found dead It died in vein"

"I dated a lizard once but he had a-reptile dysfunction so it didn't work out."

"how many Snapple Facts do I have to get before it counts as a GED"

"Did you meet the guy who masturbated on the toilet? He came and went."

"What did a bad teacher tell their wisecracking student? Don't get smart with me."

"I'd probably die of starvation in England I heard that face sitting is illegal."